How Are You Responding to Difficult Emotions?

1. After a difficult conversation or experience, what usually happens?

A. I think about it for a while, but eventually I can let it settle.

B. It comes back to my mind several times, especially when something reminds me of it.

C. I replay it again and again, thinking about what happened, what I should have said, or what I wish I had done differently.

2. When you wish you had handled something differently, what happens next?

A. I can acknowledge it, learn from it, and gradually move forward.

B. I continue thinking about it and wonder whether I made the right choice.

C. I have a hard time letting it go and may feel regret, embarrassment, or shame about what happened.

3. When anger or fear comes up, what do you tend to do first?

A. I pause and notice what I am feeling.

B. I react before I have had time to fully understand what I am feeling.

C. I get caught in the emotion or in my thoughts about it, and it takes me longer to settle.

4. What do you tend to do when an uncomfortable emotion comes up, whether from something happening now or something that happened in the past?

A. I can usually stay with it for a little while.

B. I keep busy, distract myself, or put it aside.

C. I either try to push it away with positive thinking, or I keep reliving what happened.

5. When you feel an emotion, how aware are you of what is happening in your body?

A. I usually notice where I feel it in my body.

B. I notice physical tension or discomfort, but I may not realize right away that it is connected to what I am feeling.

C. I rarely connect what I feel in my body with the emotions I am experiencing.

6. Do similar emotions tend to return in different situations?

A. Not very often. I usually feel that I eventually move through them.

B. Sometimes. Certain situations bring up familiar emotions or reactions.

C. When I find myself in a similar situation, I already expect to feel the same emotion again.

7. When something is bothering you, how easy is it to know what you actually need?

A. Once I give myself some time, I can usually sense what feels right for me.

B. I often have an idea, but doubt or uncertainty can make it difficult to trust myself.

C. I feel stuck and confused about what my next step should be.